[Update] Falsely accused of stalking someone I haven’t contacted for weeks and who I contacted very little before then (and all contact was class or school related). Apparently, now the university and campus police have gotten involved.

Edit: Location is Wisconsin

[Original thread here](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/6kjnd3/wi_falsely_accused_of_stalking_someone_i_havent/)

Apparently, the initial email was legitimate. As in, apparently, this former classmate of mine who I haven’t contacted since the end of finals and with whom, on the few occasions I’ve communicated with them, I only talked about class or school related things appears to actually believe I am stalking her.

I found this out via an email from someone at the Division of Student Life at my university (I verified with the office, whose number I got online, that this was actually from them) telling me that they have issued a “no contact directive” on me, saying I’ll be punished if I have “non-incidental contact” with her. Granted, not contacting her isn’t an issue since not contacting her is exactly what I’ve been doing, but if she continues to falsely believe I am contacting her, I will be accused of violating this directive. The letter closes by saying that the letter was also forwarded to campus police.

I called the person at student life who sent the letter, calmly told them about how surprised I am to have gotten this letter, since I haven’t contacted her since the end of finals and that when we interacted our conversations were class or school related.

After I gave some basic information and stated my willingness say what I’ve said under oath or supply the emails in which we’ve corresponded and any other evidence to help show that the accusation against me is false, the person asked me two questions:

– Have I been to the campus of [public university in a neighboring state] this past spring or this summer?
(No, I haven’t been to that state since I was a little kid and I don’t know anyone, other than apparently her, who has been in that state recently)

– Have I, this past spring or summer, gone by [first name I have never gone by] or [alternative version I have never gone by of a first name I have never gone by]?
(No, I haven’t)

I was told that there is not an active investigation going on at this point, but that there could be one in the near future and that if such an investigation begins, I will be notified.

What the fucking heck am I supposed to do here? What could possibly be going on? Any advice is appreciated.

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11 Comments


  1. [deleted]

    July 19, 2017 at 3:49 am

    [removed]

  2. MajorPhaser

    July 19, 2017 at 3:49 am

    At this point, you’ve done the right thing. Keep records of whatever you have, and (obviously) don’t contact that person directly. Follow up with the student affairs office in a week or so to get an update on what’s going on.

    It sounds like they’re investigating this and are starting to question if this was issued against the correct person, given that they’re asking about your presence in other states and at other schools you’ve never been to.

  3. liabilityquestion

    July 19, 2017 at 3:49 am

    Assuming you have not been stalking this person:

    IMHO, you should get a lawyer and have them insist on a conference with you and the Dean of Students as this could be a case of mistaken identity, you could be the victim of harassment, or the complainant could have mental problems.

    In any case, you’ve basically been put on a probation and with the directive, so they could move to expel you from campus if there is another “complaint”, from anyone. That is incredibly serious, and you should get a lawyer.

  4. ConstantGradStudent

    July 19, 2017 at 3:49 am

    Follow up with a written letter to this office describing your circumstances, your denial of alleged contact, and that records when and who you spoke to at the student life office, and request that they put it in your/their file so that you don’t have to explain this again in the future. The note you wrote above is a good start.

  5. eilsna

    July 19, 2017 at 3:49 am

    I don’t know what all you can do to make this stop immediately, but for the time being, if you work, keep all of your clocking in/out time stamps or something similar, keep location services on your phone on, maybe even document your day-to-day activity in a note on your phone or write in a journal. Do any friends know about this? Maybe let a couple close ones know so you can have alibis if this evolves into a more in-depth investigation. Maybe family members as well if they live close by and you see them occasionally. This sounds so annoying and I’m sorry you’re going through this!

  6. skatastic57

    July 19, 2017 at 3:49 am

    If you’re contacted by the police then decline to answer questions. You can’t help yourself by talking to the police. Lookup “don’t talk to the police” on YouTube.

  7. Trilyn-error

    July 19, 2017 at 3:49 am

    Generally universities will have surveillance systems. If this is brought to investigation or she claims you’ve violated the no contact you might be able to request the footage to prove where you were. Most of these systems will not have audio but can still show where you were, what you were doing, and any reactions.

  8. Unicormfarts

    July 19, 2017 at 3:49 am

    Rather than getting a lawyer in this case, assuming you are still a student, your first stop should be your Student representatives or whatever they call them on your campus. There should be someone/s who are designated as advisors, advocates and support people for students in these situations. Depending on the university will be student union reps or called something different, but they should be separate to the disciplinary bodies who are the ones who are the ones putting you on probation. Check any and all documentation you have been given about appeals processes and figure out who to contact to be on YOUR SIDE in this situation.

    Many universities won’t let you have a lawyer, but there will be someone who can do the advice and support thing for you in any formal hearings that come up. The benefit of these people is that they know how the university system works, and they can work with you to get it sorted out. The person you met with at student life should have given you this information, maybe you overlooked it in the whole WTFery of the situation.

  9. The_Arakihcat

    July 19, 2017 at 3:49 am

    How common is your name? Is it possible that someone else with the same name is stalking her?

  10. Dirty_And_Dangerous_

    July 19, 2017 at 3:49 am

    Shut the fuck up. Stop talking to the Division of Student Life. If this case is prosecuted, they will act as the prosecution. They are you adversaries.

  11. LocationBot

    July 19, 2017 at 3:49 am


    > http://imgur.com/a/myIAb


    *I am a bot whose sole purpose is to improve the timeliness and accuracy of responses in this subreddit.*


    **It appears you forgot to include your location in the title or body of your post. Please update the body of your original post to include this information.**


    ***Do NOT delete this post – Instead, simply edit the post with the requested information.***

    Author: /u/ConfusedNonStalker

    Title: **[Update] Falsely accused of stalking someone I haven’t contacted for weeks and who I contacted very little before then (and all contact was class or school related). Apparently, now the university and campus police have gotten involved.**

    Original Post:

    > [Original thread here](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/6kjnd3/wi_falsely_accused_of_stalking_someone_i_havent/)
    >
    > Apparently, the initial email was legitimate. As in, apparently, this former classmate of mine who I haven’t contacted since the end of finals and with whom, on the few occasions I’ve communicated with them, I only talked about class or school related things appears to actually believe I am stalking her.
    >
    > I found this out via an email from someone at the Division of Student Life at my university (I verified with the office, whose number I got online, that this was actually from them) telling me that they have issued a “no contact directive” on me, saying I’ll be punished if I have “non-incidental contact” with her. Granted, not contacting her isn’t an issue since not contacting her is exactly what I’ve been doing, but if she continues to falsely believe I am contacting her, I will be accused of violating this directive. The letter closes by saying that the letter was also forwarded to campus police.
    >
    > I called the person at student life who sent the letter, calmly told them about how surprised I am to have gotten this letter, since I haven’t contacted her since the end of finals and that when we interacted our conversations were class or school related.
    >
    > After I gave some basic information and stated my willingness say what I’ve said under oath or supply the emails in which we’ve corresponded and any other evidence to help show that the accusation against me is false, the person asked me two questions:
    >
    > – Have I been to the campus of [public university in a neighboring state] this past spring or this summer?
    > (No, I haven’t been to that state since I was a little kid and I don’t know anyone, other than apparently her, who has been in that state recently)
    >
    > – Have I, this past spring or summer, gone by [first name I have never gone by] or [alternative version I have never gone by of a first name I have never gone by]?
    > (No, I haven’t)
    >
    > I was told that there is not an active investigation going on at this point, but that there could be one in the near future and that if such an investigation begins, I will be notified.
    >
    > What the fucking heck am I supposed to do here? What could possibly be going on? Any advice is appreciated.


    LocationBot 4.0 | GitHub (Coming Soon) | [Statistics](https://locationbot.info) | [Report Issues](https://www.reddit.com/r/locationbot)

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