3 spies from England, France and Italy were sent to the USSR.

After a week they were captured and put in jail. The Russians took the English spy, tied and tortured him and after 20 minutes he gave all the info.

Then the Russians took the French spy. They tied and tortured him, and after 20 minutes he too gave all the info.

Then they took the Italian spy and did the same to him, but he didnt give any info. They kept torturing him for 3 hours but with no luck. Eventually they gave up and put him back in the cell.

The 2 other spies asked him “How did you do that? They tortured us like crazy!” The Italian replied: “I wanted to give all my info, but they tied my hands and so I couldn’t speak.

https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/6o0crr/3_spies_from_england_france_and_italy_were_sent/”>View Source

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  1. TooShiftyForYou

    July 18, 2017 at 5:30 pm

    Two Italian men get on a bus, sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:

    “Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time.”

    “You foul-mouthed swine,” retorted the lady indignantly. “In this country we don’t talk about our sex lives in public!”

    “Hey, coola down lady,” said the man. “Who talkin’ abouta sexa? I’m a justa tellin’ my frienda how to spella ‘Mississippi’.”

  2. Frogthumper

    July 18, 2017 at 5:30 pm

    This was a surprisingly wholesome joke considering the premise. I chuckled!

  3. sms95

    July 18, 2017 at 5:30 pm

    After picking her son up from school one day, the mother asks him what he did at school. The kid replies, “I had sex with my teacher.” She gets so mad that when they get home, she orders him to go straight to his room. When the father returns home that evening, the mother angrily tells him the news of what their son had done. As the father hears the news, a huge grin spreads across his face. He walks to his son’s room and asks him what happened at school, the son tells him, “I had sex with my teacher.” The father tells the boy that he is so proud of him, and he is going to reward him with the bike he has been asking for. On the way to the store, the dad asks his son if he would like to ride his new bike home. His son responds, “No thanks Dad, my butt still hurts.”

  4. CibrecaNA

    July 18, 2017 at 5:30 pm

    Either the Russians are very effective at torture (and finding spies) or more believably, living in Russia is torture and these spies turned themselves in.

  5. bvader95

    July 18, 2017 at 5:30 pm

    It was alright, but is everything that isn’t a one-liner considered “long” now?

  6. Moose_Hole

    July 18, 2017 at 5:30 pm

    Why do they need all of them to give the info? Is the info different for each spy?

  7. doinkrr

    July 18, 2017 at 5:30 pm

    I don’t get it.

  8. Naptimeis4ever

    July 18, 2017 at 5:30 pm

    I read this as “3 spices” and clicked to see where the joke was heading

  9. neto

    July 18, 2017 at 5:30 pm


  10. Evan_Giants

    July 18, 2017 at 5:30 pm

    20 mins to break French spy? More like instant.

  11. madscientist2407

    July 18, 2017 at 5:30 pm

    Putin is a hero ..history was a lie..

  12. Jaystings

    July 18, 2017 at 5:30 pm

    Found the Russian user.

  13. Gamerguybix

    July 18, 2017 at 5:30 pm


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